I know how challenging life can be sometimes, especially life these days…And no matter how much of our own little personal lives we like to think we’re in control of, we can’t control everything, right?
Life is so unpredictable and filled with uncertainty. Anything can happen at anytime. Just look at the state of the world we’re currently living in. Perfect example that there’s alot going on of which is outside of our “control.”
And as we continue to move further into the year, or even just in life generally— more “stuff” is going to continue to come up. Which makes sense…because simply put….life is messy.
All in all, challenges don’t ever go away…But we can learn to skillfully move through challenges so that we’re not so defeated by them & we can do so with ease.
Thats why I created this post—to share a 4 step mindfulness model that I use to help me navigate challenges, uncertainty, and life overall… especially when things start to feel heavy….in hopes that it can serve you, too.
The mindfulness model—
This is something you can write down to really get a feel for what you’re going through. But you can also work this out in however way best serves you.
So what’s actually happening? What’s the event? Situation? Fact of the matter you’re currently experiencing? What is the circumstance that you can objectively measure?
Example: Is the circumstance you’re dealing with here— someone else’s behavior towards you? Is the circumstance just the overall state of the world we’re in? Are you on the verge of losing your job? Partner? Home? What are the facts?
Understanding the circumstance you’re in is KEY. And recognizing too that a circumstance is simply a circumstance— it doesn’t hold a positive or negative charge. Fundamentally, the circumstance is neutral until we have some type of thought form about it.
Thoughts are merely sentences we form in our mind. A belief is a thought that we repeatedly think to ourselves often to the point where we “believe” it to be true. Thoughts ARE real but they ARE NOT facts. Understand this!
And so if you’re going through a circumstance, for example—lets say you’re on the verge of a breakup…you may notice that their are also thoughts connected to this circumstance.
You can practice this to better understand what I mean:
So right now, sit quietly and just notice the contents of your mind. You may have several thought sentences floating through but just grab one thought sentence to play with.
Take that thought & break it down in your mind & dissect it.
What makes this particular thought real in this moment? What makes it facts?
This will help you to clearly see the difference between a circumstance and a thought.
While the circumstance may be real— the thoughts about the circumstance are subjective, based on what you think & feel about it…
Now we’re at feelings. What is the feeling you’re feeling? Are you feeling happy? Sad? Anxious? (look up list of emotions on Google if you aren’t sure what you’re feeling).
And now ask yourself— What thought or circumstance is THIS feeling associated with?
So for example: let’s say you’re going through a break up (circumstance). You have a thought around this circumstance which may be—“I hate that this is happening (thought). Based on the thought and associated circumstance— you start to feel some type of way (feelings).
#4 Action/ Reaction/ Inaction:
Now understanding the circumstance, the thoughts around the circumstance & feeling associated with it all— what are you going to do or not do about it?
This step creates an outcome or a result. So if you have awareness around the entire picture to what you’re experiencing — this offers you space to decide, to choose how you want to handle it.
You can see the circumstance for what it is….a circumstance…
You can change your thoughts around the circumstance to thoughts that serve your higher purpose…
You can tune into the feeling. Get familiar with the feeling. Feel into the feeling. And you can ask yourself— What can I do to shift the feeling into a feeling that serves me? What thoughts can I think to help me shift my feelings?
And that’s it!
In life, while we may go through circumstances or challenges that we may not necessarily be able to control or change— we CAN shift our thoughts & nurture our feelings & we can choose to respond in a way that creates a sense of ease or peace within us.
And with that— I invite you to approach life in this way. This ofcourse takes practice! So practice, practice, practice, so that you can get to the place where your thinking serves you and your higher purpose, lifts you up, & nourishes you in a real & authentic way.
“You deserve to feel peace & ease… and it begins with freeing your identification to the mind.”
If you feel like you can use additional support to better assist you in being able to move through life’s challenges, I would like to invite you to join my next (1 day) workshop—Moving Through Uncertainty w Ease.