There are many lessons to be learned in life. And given that I’ll be 30 years old any day now— it got me to step back to start thinking about all that I’ve learned thus far in life. And so below, I share my top 10 life lessons that I feel everyone should know, sooner than later.
On June 9th I turn the BIG 3-0. (Woah!)
So this means, I’ll be leaving my twenties behind & I’ll be entering into a new phase of my life.
How do I feel about that?
Well if you asked me that question a few months/ or even years ago, I wouldn’t even know how to answer that. And it’s mostly because for the longest time I feared the idea of getting “older.”
But I’ve come a long way since my “younger” years. The way I think, feel, move today represents a completely different, much more accepting, trusting, & improved version of myself.
When I think about “who I was” even just ten years ago at the age of 20, and then look at who I am now— it’s almost as if who I was vs who I am now are two separate people.
And shifting into this version of myself that I am today was no easy task. I had to truly experience life, get in trouble, take risks, go through challenges, fuck up, fall down, and learn some major lessons to get me to where I am now.
So what I would like to do here is share some of the lessons I’ve taken away from life thus far, that I think you should know, even if you’re over 30.
Below I share my 10 top lessons (in random order) that I feel are worthy enough for you to know too—
Life lessons (You Should Know About)
1. Never Grow Up
As I mentioned above, I feared the idea or thought of ever being 30. And it’s because for one) it meant getting old. And two) I enjoyed being a kid. But being a kid never has to come to an end. I mean sure…get rid of the immature childish behaviors, but you should never let go of living life as a child — that is to say live openly, curiously, excitedly, energetically, passionately, unapologetically, and so on. Even if you have a family, career, and shit tons of things to do…create a balanced life through work AND play.
2. Good Things Take Tiiiiiiiiime
Self development, friendships/relationships, building a business, getting a degree— it all takes time. If you’re on a self development journey, it’s a journey…you won’t heal overnight. If you’re in a new relationship or friendship, the trust and deep connection isn’t going to be built in an hour or in a day…it’s built over months/years of consistent nurturing. If you’re starting a business, be a beginner. Enjoy the process. Growth occurs over the course of time.
3. Reduce Suffering Through (healthy) Detachment
When you take a breath in, it mostly feels good, revitalizing. Imagine holding on to it because it feels so good? Well you can’t…I mean you can try but eventually, you have to let the breath go. And that same idea applies to everything else in life. Hold on to what you love or enjoy while it’s here, but just allow yourself to release when the time comes too. And that also goes with the things that anger or upset you, learn to let those things go too. And I think it’s important to also note here that detachment isn’t something we achieve once and for all. It’s a moment-by-moment, day-by-day process of accepting reality, as it presents itself, doing our best to align our actions with what we think is right, and surrendering to the outcome.
4. What You Allow, Will Continue
Identify the patterns in your life. Your daily habits, thoughts, feelings you hold on too, people you hang around, things you do are all reflections of who you are. And if you don’t like the direction you’re headed, you have to change some of the patterns taking place in your life. So this means questioning who you’re spending time with, what is taking up most of your attention, what habits are holding you back, the thoughts you choose to hold on too, etc. Because a pattern will continue to repeat itself until you acknowledge & dig to the root of why it’s even there in the first place.
5. Your Attention & Intention Are Important
As you grow older, you realize that whatever takes your attention, also takes up your time. So if you’re attending to low vibrational activities that aren’t helping you grow (scrolling through social media, binge watching Netflix, hanging out/partying), you’re wasting away precious moments of your life. Instead, create intentions for yourself. Wake up each day and make a mini promise to yourself. What is something you can do for yourself today, that the future version of you would thank you for later? Doing this would help you to start living with purpose. It gives you a sense of direction, and helps you to stay focused, attentative to your goal or “promise” at hand. If you struggle with paying attention or creating intentions, a good place to start to learn how—can be through meditation. Try a practice where you can strengthen your focus like through a breathing meditation. Here’s one you can try now.
6. Be Grateful/Appreciative
A lot of people say turning 30 is when you experience a mid life crisis….& who knows maybe I’ll experience that, or maybe I won’t. What I do know is that right now the dominant feeling I feel isn’t anxiety or regret. What I feel instead is gratitude & appreciation. Because I remember how lost I felt in my early twenties. I remember how insecure I was, and afraid of what people were going to think of me. I remember struggling, a lot, accepting myself for who I was—and figuring out a way to move forward regardless. It was time for tremendous growth. It was a process of figuring out how to get from who I was then, to who I wanted to be today. And for that I’m so thankful for experiencing.
7. Less Is More
I remember when I was younger, specifically around the time I started working and making money— all I wanted was to waste my earnings on things— more clothes & sneakers, newest phone, alcohol & more alcohol. And at the time it felt like the greatest gifts I can offer to myself. Turning 30, I can’t even think of “things” I would want. Because I have my basic needs met. I have family who supports & loves me. I have a wonderful partner. A car & a roof over my head. I’m deeply happy with my life with everything I have right now.
8. Success Is An Inside Job
Success isn’t about what you can achieve or what your status rank in society is. It’s about your character and how you show up for yourself & everything you do. You can be a rich CEO with a multimillion dollar business, but if your heart isn’t in what you do, or if it isn’t what you are really passionate about, how successful are you?
9. Later Doesn’t Exist, There’s Only Right Now
Work on yourself now, but make sure to also take breaks. There’s a lot of toxic positivity out here saying things like — sleep is for the weak. Sleep later or when you’re dead. Work hard now, play later, or grind harder, keep going. But that’s destructive. Because the problem is…when is “later?” At what point is enough ever enough? As humans, we’re constantly striving to reach the next big thing, the next goal. You put a man on the moon and still that’s not enough. We don’t have to put everything on the back burner and just focus solely on work because we WILL crash & burn ourselves out. We need to take care of ourselves, little by little, at the same time, along the way. We can work hard now & play hard now too. We can take moments of rest when we feel we need too. We need balance.
10. It’s Never That Serious…Breathe!
As you endure on your self development journey, your healing & sense of growth will trigger those around you — and their reactions may hurt. I know for me, that’s how it went down. And I took that shit personal. So for the longest time, as an effort to detach myself from family, certain “friends” and society, I held on to a tremendous amount of resentment toward them. Because how dare you not understand my journey & the healing I’m working through. How could you not see everything I see? How can you all be so asleep & naive? But as I became more aware, opened up my third eye, started to meditate, & really see life for what it truly was, I realized that it’s never nor was it ever that serious. Everyone is on their own life journey seeing life through their own subjective lens. Some people want to live purposeful lives. Some don’t. Some want to set huge transformational goals for themselves. Some won’t. It’s not my job nor is your job to try and get everyone around you to see life the way we do. All we can do is be the change we want to see in the world & that is all.