Something I find extremely helpful to my personal growth and is also something I do a lot of is mindful self-reflection.
Every so often, (usually weekly) I create space to reflect deeply on my own life, taking note of how things are going. I do this to ensure I’m moving in the right direction; auditing what I’m doing effectively and making corrections to the things that can use improvement.
And so the other day, while reflecting, something came up for me and that’s what I will like to share with you here today.
“Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Trust Issues
I was noticing that lately, I’ve been subconsciously holding myself back. Out of what I believe to be a fear-based response, I’ve realized that I was creating a blockage for myself and avoiding certain things that I know can greatly benefit my growth journey. What I discovered is that my reason for avoiding these things was because at the root, I didn’t trust in myself. I was believing that I wasn’t capable or “ready” enough to take that next big step. I was feeling fear of stepping into the unknown because what if I can’t do it?
After having that discovery with myself and then having had meditated on it for awhile, I can say I am now in a better place. I am ready to let go of that old, false belief that was blocking my way towards success.
Since then, I’ve been reminding myself daily to practice trust, especially during those times when I’m experiencing worry, frustration, or doubt. And if you’ve been experiencing something similar, and you find that it’s been creating a block for you, I invite you to practice trust for yourself too.
Why are Trust Issues A Thing?
Life is messy. And I’m sure you can agree with that, especially after everything we’ve experienced in the past year. You may even say it’s more than messy, it’s straight utter chaos! Am I right?
Considering the state of the world and all the shit we’ve been witnessing, many of us are now waking up and realizing that life isn’t what we may have thought. And we’re recognizing that a lot of the ways we were doing things or living were based on a lie. Ppl are being exposed, secrets are being uncovered, and it just feels like nothing makes sense anymore. It’s like we live in a new world; everything feels foreign and our guards are up!
Recognizing that we ARE living through a major pivotal time in human history is key. Because it’s no secret. Life as we once knew it, has changed for what might be until forever. Reality is shifting and writing a new history right in front of our eyes, whether we want to believe it or not.
Getting Deep with Trust Issues
…But that’s the issue: many of us are living in states of disbelief because we weren’t ready for this. And instead of trusting that things will work out and accepting life for what it is now, people lose hope. Clouded by heightened states of worry, fear, & uncertainty, we also have resistance coming in hot and taking the center stage.
We are tasting a new reality and for many of us, that taste is not so pleasant. So much of the so-called “truth” we once believed in is losing validity. That kind of environment creates a dis-regulation within us. And the only thing many of us know to do is what we’ve always done when challenges and changes arise: we run, we hide, we avoid, and we try so hard to hold on to the way things used to be.
At the heart, all of the feelings of worry, anxiety, and our perceived negative emotions are happening because we cannot trust.
Learning To Trust Again
But this dates way before the pandemic. Cultivating trust has been something many of us have been struggling with for a long time. Let’s consider our own personal life experience; times when ppl have done us wrong in the past; and let’s not forget our culture & the rise of fake news. With everything happening in the world today, it makes sense why so many of us have trust issues.
And because we don’t trust ourselves, and we don’t trust others, or the world at large, we’re constantly feeling anxious about it all.
But see, there’s nothing wrong with feeling like that — we’re human. We are wired that way, and we can find threats in just about anything. So it makes sense why we mostly feel guarded.
But what would it be like to practice trust?
Consider your relationship with trust. If you find it hard to trust, you can try sitting with yourself. Perhaps meditate on this feeling to try and uncover the “why” behind it. Create a zen space for yourself, where it will allow you to recognize why your walls are up, so that you can start working towards bringing them down.
Try This —
Affirmations you can repeat to yourself once, everyday for the next week & anytime you need them:
- I trust myself to deal with whatever happens.
- A Pandemic, lockdowns, political conflict, & all kinds of difficulty have come my way, and still I am here & I am surviving.
- I’m trusting myself to handle whatever chaos arrives, whatever failure might happen, whatever difficulty comes.
- I am resilient.
- I’m ready to let go of the hurt or the pain of the past. While I honor what has happened to me, I release any energy or power it holds so that I can trust in the process of life again.
What would it be like, to practice this kind of surrender and trust?
Thank you for reading. Sending you much love.
Until next time,
Namaste.
